There was a season in my life when I ticked prayer off like it was an errand.

Bible. Check. Quiet time. Check. Prayer list. Check. I was doing all the right things — showing up faithfully, going through the motions, being the kind of woman who prays — and feeling absolutely nothing. Not rebellious. Not far from God. Just… flat. Like I was leaving voicemails for someone I used to be close to, not quite sure they were still listening.

If that resonates with you right now, I want you to stay with me. Because what feels like a broken prayer life might actually be something else entirely.

When Prayer Becomes Performance

Here's what nobody talks about: for many women in midlife, prayer quietly shifts from conversation to obligation. It happens so gradually you barely notice it. One day you're pouring your heart out. The next you're rushing through a list of names and needs before the day swallows you whole.

And the guilt that comes with that… it's suffocating, isn't it?

You think: I should want to pray. What kind of Christian woman doesn't want to pray? You wonder if something has gone wrong spiritually. You wonder if you've drifted. You try harder. You add more structure, more accountability, more systems. And somehow the harder you try, the more hollow it feels.

I want to gently say this: the emptiness you're feeling is not a sign that God has moved away. It might be a sign that the format you've been given doesn't fit how He actually made you.

Romans 8:26 in the Living Translation says something that stopped me in my tracks when I finally really heard it: "And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."

Read that again. We don't always know what to pray for. And the Spirit steps in.

You are not failing at prayer. You are human. And God built a helper into the very fabric of your faith for exactly this moment.

What If Prayer Has More Than One Language?

In my 34 years as a Speech and Language Therapist, I worked with people who had lost their ability to communicate through words. And one of the most profound things I learned in that work is this: losing the words does not mean losing the connection. It just means finding a different language.

I think about that a lot when women tell me their prayers feel empty.

What if prayer has more than one language? What if, for some of us — especially those of us with tired, overstretched, analytical minds — words are not always the most honest expression of what's happening inside?

What if the Spirit who intercedes for us sometimes speaks in colour? In line? In the quiet, unhurried act of making a mark on a page?

This is what I discovered in my own season of flat, going-through-the-motions prayer. Not through trying harder. Through picking up a pen and a box of watercolours and simply… responding. Not performing. Not producing anything beautiful. Just being honest with God in a different language.

That's what I call Doodling with God. And it changed everything for me.

A Simple Practice You Can Try Today

You don't need to be an artist. You don't need a special journal or expensive supplies. Here's what I want you to try this week — one small thing:

Before you begin your quiet time, take a blank page and a pen. Write one honest sentence at the top — whatever is most true for you today. I'm tired. I'm confused. I feel far from You. I don't know what to say.

Then, for the next 5 minutes, doodle while you sit in that truth. Not to illustrate anything. Not to make something pretty. Just let your hand move while your heart stays open.

It might be a simple shape — a circle, a spiral, a series of lines. It might be a single colour you're drawn to. It doesn't matter what it looks like. What matters is that you're present. Unhurried. In the room with God, without an agenda.

That gentle, wordless presence is prayer. Maybe one of the most honest kinds.

The Morning Everything Shifted

There was one particular morning — not dramatic, just ordinary — when I sat down with a cup of tea and a page of watercolours and told God I had nothing to say. No requests. No gratitude list. No Scripture passage to reflect on. Just… nothing.

And I painted purples and greens and greys. Bruise colours, as it turned out. I didn't plan that. My hands found them without me choosing.

By the time my tea went cold, something had shifted. Not solved. Not fixed. But shifted. Like a window had been opened in a room that had been closed too long.

I felt Him there. Right in the middle of my nothing.

That moment became the foundation of everything I teach now — the Spirit-Led Sketch Method. Four simple steps: Prepare your heart. Ask God what He wants to show you. Doodle or sketch whatever comes. Reflect on what you've made.

Not a formula. A doorway.

A Space to Bring Your Whole Self

If your soul is quietly telling you that it needs more than another quiet time routine… that it needs space, rest, and a completely different kind of encounter with God…

I want to tell you about something I'm creating for a small group of women this September.

From the 25th to the 28th of September 2026, I'm hosting a luxury creative retreat on the Isle of Wight — three nights at a beautiful farm in Ryde, fully catered, with no agenda except to slow down and hear God again.

We'll spend our days art journaling, sketching, and exploring. We'll visit Osborne House — Queen Victoria's summer home on the island. She was herself a keen artist, and there's something quietly extraordinary about standing in the rooms where she created, as women who are finding their own creative voice.

My partner Adam will lead worship. My son Toby, a fine art photography student, will capture the retreat. Our chef Katrina Collins will feed us extraordinarily well.

It is intentionally small. Intentionally unhurried. Intentionally a space where your prayers don't need to be words.

If your heart lifted a little reading that — pay attention to that lift.

🔗 Find out more about the Isle of Wight Retreat here: creativesoulspace.com/retreat2026

And if you're not quite ready for a retreat but want to begin doodling with God today, start here: creativesoulspace.com/quiet — it's just $7 and it's the gentlest possible first step.

Come and find me at christianartjournaling.com — there's a whole community of women here who are finding their way back to God, one mark at a time.