Some grief comes quietly.

Nobody sends flowers. Nobody brings a casserole round. Most of the time, people don't even know it's happened... so they say nothing at all. And you're left holding something heavy, on your own, half wondering if you're even allowed to call it grief.

I want to tell you today that you are. It counts. And God has seen every bit of it.

The Losses Nobody Gives You Permission to Mourn

We tend to think grief only arrives with a funeral. But loss is so much wider than that.

There's the woman who lost a baby before she ever got to hold them. A miscarriage. A stillbirth. The empty nursery, the names whispered in the dark, and then the silence afterwards because nobody quite knows what to say to her.

There's the woman who longed for children her whole life and was never able to have them. She has learned to smile through Mother's Day. Nobody knows what that day costs her.

There's the family torn apart by suicide. And here's something I know in my own bones, because I've lost people I love this way... suicide is one of the most isolating griefs there is. It comes wrapped in shame and questions that will never get an answer, and a silence so thick that people genuinely don't know what to say. So they say nothing. Which only makes it heavier.

And it cuts both ways. The person who's struggling often won't talk, because the moment they do, they feel watched. Like something's wrong with them. Like they've lost the freedom to just be honest without everyone panicking. And the person walking alongside them won't talk either... because they feel guilty, or judged, or like maybe they should have done more.

There's the woman who gave 40 years to nursing, or caring, or teaching, pouring herself out for other people, and then retired and woke up one morning thinking, who am I now? That's grief too. Even though nobody calls it that.

These are the griefs we carry in silence. But here's the thing... God has never been silent about them.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." (Psalm 56:8, NLT)

He's been keeping count the whole time.

The Day God Told Me to Paint a Bruise

I need to be honest with you about my own season of this.

I'm a fixer. Always have been. 34 years as a Speech and Language Therapist, and my whole instinct is to step in, solve the problem, make it better. And then I hit a season where everything was going wrong around me and there was nothing... nothing... I could do. People I loved were breaking down, falling apart, and I couldn't rescue any of them. I couldn't fix it. And that broke something in me.

One afternoon I sat down with my journal, completely empty, and asked God what He wanted me to do. And into that quiet He said something I really wasn't expecting.

Paint a bruise.

It made no sense. But I picked up my brush and I painted one. Dark purples and greens, and those yellowing edges where a bruise is slowly starting to heal. And as I painted, I finally let go. I said the thing I'd been refusing to say. I can't do this, God. Please... You step in.

That painting didn't fix everything. But it gave my grief somewhere to go. And it taught me that letting go isn't giving up. Sometimes letting go is the most faithful thing we can do.

It's Okay to Be Real With God

Here's what I wish we said more often in church.

It's okay to be real. You don't have to put on the brave face. If you need to cry, then cry. Because the impression we sometimes give... that everyone's fine, everyone's sorted, everyone's praising with their hands in the air and no cracks anywhere... it isn't true. And it isn't fair on the woman sitting in the back row who's falling apart and thinks she must be the only one.

I think of the women in my own church who've miscarried or had stillbirths and never spoken a word about it. Stiff upper lip. Get on with the next thing. And listen, for some people that genuinely is how they cope, and there's no single right way to grieve. But I don't believe burying it serves us. At some point, it needs somewhere to go.

The Bible never asks us to pretend. Have you ever read Lamentations? A whole book of God's people complaining to Him. Telling Him plainly, this is hard, this is rubbish, where are You. And He kept it in His Word on purpose. Because He would so much rather we came to Him angry and honest than walked away polished and empty.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." (Psalm 34:18, NLT)

You don't have to tidy yourself up before you come to Him. You can come exactly as you are.

One Gentle Thing You Can Do Today

I'm not an art therapist. I'm a therapist by trade, but this isn't therapy. It's something simpler, and in some ways deeper... it's spending time with the Lord and letting your hands say what your words can't.

So here's one small invitation.

Find 10 quiet minutes. A scrap of paper. Any pen or pencil you've got. And ask God one question. What colour is my grief today?

Don't overthink it. Don't worry about whether it's good or whether it means anything. Just choose a colour, or a few, and let your hand move slowly across the page while you sit with Him. You're not making art. You're making space. Space to feel, and space for God to come close.

That's the very beginning of the Spirit-Led Sketch Method I've built over years of my own creative prayer. It starts with nothing more than showing up honestly, with whatever's in your hands. And He meets you right there.

You Were Never Meant to Carry This Alone

If something in you has been stirred reading this... if there's a grief you've been holding quietly, not sure it even counts, not sure God cares... I'd love to walk a little of this with you.

Doodle with God is a gentle creative prayer guide I made for women exactly like you. It's $7, it needs no artistic skill at all, and it will show you how to bring whatever you're carrying to God through colour and quiet and simple mark-making.

You'll find it here: https://creativesoulspace.com/quiet

Your grief is not too much for Him. And whether it's now or further down the road... if you ever just want to be real about it, you're not on your own.

Other links

• Grief Pages Workshop replay — https://creativesoulspace.com/replay-page-of-grief-pages-workshop-page

• Doodle with God offer page — https://creativesoulspace.com/quiet

And if you'd like a gentle daily creative practice to bring you back to yourself... Doodle with God is waiting for you. No skill needed, no special supplies — just you, a pen, and five quiet minutes with God.

P.S. Those who sign up to the workshop and attend live will get the accompanying workbook

A Space to Bring Your Whole Self

If your soul is quietly telling you that it needs more than another quiet time routine… that it needs space, rest, and a completely different kind of encounter with God…

I want to tell you about something I'm creating for a small group of women this September.

From the 25th to the 28th of September 2026, I'm hosting a luxury creative retreat on the Isle of Wight — three nights at a beautiful farm in Ryde, fully catered, with no agenda except to slow down and hear God again.

We'll spend our days art journaling, sketching, and exploring. We'll visit Osborne House — Queen Victoria's summer home on the island. She was herself a keen artist, and there's something quietly extraordinary about standing in the rooms where she created, as women who are finding their own creative voice.

My partner Adam will lead worship. My son Toby, a fine art photography student, will capture the retreat. Our chef Katrina Collins will feed us extraordinarily well.

It is intentionally small. Intentionally unhurried. Intentionally a space where your prayers don't need to be words.

If your heart lifted a little reading that — pay attention to that lift.

🔗 Find out more about the Isle of Wight Retreat here: creativesoulspace.com/retreat2026

And if you're not quite ready for a retreat but want to begin doodling with God today, start here: creativesoulspace.com/quiet — it's just $7 and it's the gentlest possible first step.

Come and find me at https://christianartjournaling.com/creative2026 ~ there's a whole community of women here who are finding their way back to God, one mark at a time.