From Failing Art at 15 to Finding God Through Creativity

When I was 15 years old, I failed my Art O-Level.

I had poured myself into an abstract piece, convinced it was good, and when the grade came back in June 1985, it was a D. In my culture, art was never considered a “valid subject” anyway — so the grade only confirmed the voices around me that creativity didn’t matter.

But here’s the thing: creativity did matter to me. And God would use that passion decades later to bring healing, hope, and deeper intimacy with Him.

Growing Up With Cultural Expectations

I grew up in a family of Indian heritage. My parents were from Goa, but we had come to the UK as refugees from Uganda.

In my culture, a “proper job” was always the goal. The expectation was to study something respectable: medicine, law, engineering, accountancy, or business. Those were considered “real subjects.” Art? That was just a hobby.

And so, as a child, I buried a big part of myself — my love for creativity — just to please others. But I couldn’t bury it completely.

When it came time to choose my O-Levels, I picked art alongside the maths and sciences I was “supposed” to do. It felt like a small act of rebellion.

The Secret Retake

When I failed in June, something inside me refused to give up. I didn’t want that D to be the final word on my creativity.

So I secretly retook the exam in November — without telling my parents. They would never have paid for it. Instead, I asked my older brother (seven years my senior) to cover the fee. He did, kindly, and I don’t think I ever paid him back in money — though perhaps in kindness over the years.

This time, I chose to do a pastel portrait of my best friend, who like me was Indian, along with some irises. I poured myself into it. And when the grade came back? A B.

From a D to a B in just a few months.

I can still remember the feeling — relief, joy, and a little spark of pride. At 15, that B meant the world.

“But each of you has your own gift from God.” — 1 Corinthians 7:7

Proving Something to Myself

Looking back, I realise it wasn’t just about grades. It was about proving to myself that I was creative.

Isn’t it funny how often we feel we have to prove our worth — to ourselves or to others — instead of simply embracing it?

Even if all I did was scribble on a page and colour in the shapes, that would still have been art. Creativity doesn’t need to be graded, compared, or perfected.

I now sincerely believe: we are all creative.

“I’m Not Creative”

Over the years, I’ve heard so many people say to me, “I’m not creative.”

I hear it often in church, especially when I mention an art retreat or a workshop. And I always reply:

“Were you not made by the greatest Creator? God made you in His image. And if you are made in His image, then you are creative.”

That usually gets an awkward laugh. People can see it in theory, but they don’t believe it in practice. But creativity isn’t about perfection — it’s about trying.

It’s about putting pen to paper, brush to canvas, or even colours together in your wardrobe, and seeing what happens.

Creativity Beyond Grades

Creativity isn’t confined to an art classroom. You use it every day:

• When you design your kitchen or bathroom.

• When you choose which tiles go together.

• When you decide whether a shirt matches a pair of trousers.

Even clashing colours can be a statement. As I write this, I’m wearing a purple top and red trousers — probably not a “match,” but definitely creative!

When Art Kept Me Sane

Art didn’t just prove my creativity. It kept me sane.

There was a season in my adult life that was unbearably hard:

• I was caring for a loved one with severe mental health struggles, in and out of hospital after multiple suicide attempts.

• My husband collapsed at work, and we feared a heart attack.

• My teenage son was navigating hormones and tantrums at home.

• I was running a busy private speech therapy practice, exhausted.

• And my father was dying.

It was overwhelming. I had nothing left to give.

So I went to God with a paintbrush in my hand. One day, I painted a bruise. And I sensed Him whisper:

“I will turn your mess into My message.”

That was the beginning of discovering that art wasn’t just a hobby. It was a way to pray, to process, to breathe.

Discovering Art Journaling With Christ

Years later, at 43, I attended Spring Harvest, a Christian conference. That’s where I first heard about art journaling — combining drawing, colour, and Bible verses as a way to connect with God.

It was a complete game-changer.

I realised I didn’t have to choose between my creativity and my faith. The two could come together in the most powerful way.

Art journaling made me want to open the Bible again, not just to “study,” but to encounter God personally. As I sketched and painted Scripture, I discovered Him more intimately. He spoke to me in ways I hadn’t expected.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” — Genesis 1:1

If God Himself begins with creativity, then our creativity is one of the most natural ways to connect with Him.

God’s Creativity Everywhere

When people say, “Faith is only about serious study,” I gently challenge them. Because God has already filled the world with colour, shape, and beauty.

Look at the apples and pears on a tree. The variety of flowers. The endless patterns in animals, birds, and insects. All are expressions of His love and provision.

If our Creator God expresses Himself so extravagantly, why wouldn’t He invite us to do the same?

An Encouragement For You

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “failed” at art…
If you believe you’re not creative…
If you think your creativity doesn’t count…

I want you to hear this: you are creative. God made you that way. And He longs to meet you in your creativity — whether that’s doodling, painting, journaling, or simply experimenting with colour.

Art isn’t about grades or approval. It’s about connection — with yourself, with beauty, and with Him.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If this resonates with you, I’d love to invite you to join me for a free creative workshop.

👉 Sign up here

In this workshop, I’ll guide you through a simple but powerful process to use art and journaling as a way to connect more deeply with God. You’ll create alongside me, reduce stress, unlock your creativity, and experience His presence in a fresh way.

It’s also a chance to get a taste of what it’s like inside the Creative Sanctuary — my membership community where women from around the world grow in faith and creativity together.

✨ Don’t put off your creativity any longer. You are made in the image of the Creator. That means you are creative.

Journaling Prompts

Take a few quiet minutes today and reflect:

1. When in your life have you felt most creative?

2. Have you ever believed the lie that you’re “not creative”? Where did that come from?

3. How does knowing you are made in the image of the Creator change how you see yourself?

4. What small step could you take this week to connect with God through creativity?

📖 If you enjoyed this story, don’t forget to check out more episodes and resources at Christian Art Journaling.

Want to Experience This Through Art?

Join me for my next free Creative Calm Workshop:

Drawn to Peace: A Prayerful Zentangle Workshop✨ A live, Spirit-led session where we combine Zentangle patterns with prayer, reflection, and journaling.

📅 Thursday 28th August at 8:00 PM UK / 3:00 PM Eastern⏳ Replay available for 24 hours only👉 Save your free spot here: https://creativesoulspace.com/zen25

Let’s stop striving. Let’s start creating from a place of grace.

You are unfinished. And that is sacred.

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